Chapter 1: The Rumpus Adventure

In the realm of personal journeys, many individuals share their stories through podcasts or essays in prestigious publications like The New Yorker. While I appreciate these narratives, sometimes I yearn for a straightforward experience. Enter Rumpus.

The name might evoke thoughts of a vibrant or tumultuous scene, but it actually references a clever twist on the cut of beef from the loin. However, what truly stands out is Rumpus’s reputation in the burger landscape.

Situated in West Yorkshire, Rumpus operates out of two locations in Slaithwaite and Saltaire, proudly presenting itself as a premium burger establishment. Despite the overuse of the term "artisan," I can confirm that Rumpus lives up to it, providing food of the highest caliber.

Our visit to Rumpus was somewhat spontaneous. After attending the Standedge Festival, we were feeling a bit hungry and decided to explore some nearby pubs and eateries. With the England women's football team facing off against Germany in the Euros final, many restaurants had stopped serving food. We then opted to drive to Slaithwaite and luck was on our side!

Having previously spotted Rumpus during a walk, we were familiar with what to expect. Although my partner typically follows a flexi-vegan diet, she was the one who suggested we give Rumpus a try.

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To our delight, even without a reservation, we were welcomed inside, able to sit down and place our orders with the understanding that we would need to leave by 7:30 PM. We arrived just after 6 PM, giving us ample time to enjoy our meal. This gesture was particularly appreciated given the restaurant's cozy size, accommodating only about six tables.

Rumpus is not just a burger joint; it offers a complete experience. The décor is simple yet appealing, and the staff are friendly and accommodating. Our young waiter was attentive and courteous, enhancing our visit.

The backstory of Rumpus is intriguing. Following the horsemeat scandal, diners began questioning the origins of the meat they consumed. This led to the "farm-to-fork" movement, with Rumpus’s owner, Harry Garside, drawing inspiration from his travels in New Zealand, where he encountered the concept of burger bars. This sparked the idea of sourcing local meat for his establishment.

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The beef served at Rumpus comes from the Garside family farm in the Colne Valley, with many other local ingredients incorporated into their burgers. While some may still oppose meat consumption from an ethical standpoint, it’s essential to recognize the sustainable efforts made by businesses like Rumpus in crafting their offerings.

Without hesitation, I chose the Classic burger, accompanied by sweet potato fries and chipotle sauce. The moment I took a bite, it was as if I was transported to a nostalgic culinary reverie, reminiscent of the character Anton Ego from Ratatouille. Unlike Ego, my memories were tinged with the flavors of a meat-centric past.

I ordered my burger well done, as I prefer it almost charred. The tender meat was perfectly marinated, with juices cascading down my fingers—a delightful mess that would have pleased Anton Ego.

What surprised me were the sweet potato fries. Why aren’t more eateries featuring these delicious treats? The fries were crispy, and their natural sweetness complemented the burger’s mild spice beautifully.

Reader, I nearly fell in love with that burger. Even if marriage wasn’t on the table, I would have considered a civil partnership.

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Simplicity can often be misinterpreted as lackluster, but Rumpus proves otherwise. Perhaps they’re on a journey that will inspire a podcast or an essay in The New Yorker celebrating this hidden gem. Yet, I must reiterate: Rumpus serves exceptional burgers. It’s as straightforward as that.

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Chapter 2: The Omnivore's Dilemma

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Join Michael Pollan in "The Omnivore's Dilemma," where he delves into the ethical and ecological considerations of our food systems, prompting us to reflect on our dietary choices.